You are humble or you are not. Normal people are not humble. We are infected with vanity. Call it dignity, ambition, honour, self-worth or other names much less honourable, the flaw of pride is a prime mover for us.


Genuine modesty is a rare virtue that cannot be suddenly willed. It grows through suffering and loss, in time. But you can practice honest humility right now, and it gives amazing power. In time it may become a habit or even the real thing.


Imagine humility as the daily hunting of pride. If you learn to catch yourself when you are about to be driven by pride you will harness frustration, stupid expense, imprudent risk-taking, unintentional offending of people, rousing envy, bragging ridiculously, making hollow promises,... a long list of foolish loss that diminishes our choices and so, our freedom.

Detect the many who exploit your pride and flatterers will lick you with no profit. Blackmailers of the loss of face, racketeers of self-admiration will lose a fat client.

Imagine humility as a choice that nobody can humble you, because you do not play that game of pretence. Insult and dare will fall at your feet. This leaves enemies reduced to their real size; just do calmly the needed to defend your right. 

Imagine humility as seeing yourself and everybody else as the tiny, fleeting, vulnerable, forever ignorant beings which we are in this infinite universe. Mere intelligence proves the truth of this. You will suddenly be wiser than most around you, a Socrates qualified to understand people because you use the same measure to judge yourself.

Learn to say: “I do not know”, “It is the first time I hear about this.”, “No, I never read that book.”, “Sorry, I was wrong.”, “Please help me”, “Yes, you were right.” and “I will do my best.”  People will respect you.

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Though, to practice humility you need a certain well being. You behave humble because you chose so. For this you must have a choice. There must be someone inside. You need reserves o self-esteem and dignity and courage inside i.e. some experience with pride satisfied. Unsecure nobodies obsessed to pretend that they know when they don’t or than they can when they are useless, cannot conceive humility; it is for them like losing their trousers in public. 


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Learn then to flirt with humility! This is second best after being humble and still gives great power, to rulers as to anyone able to practice modesty in everyday life. 

Under heaven nothing is more soft and
yielding than water.
Yet for attacking the solid and strong,
nothing is better;
It has no equal.
The weak can overcome the strong;
The supple can overcome the stiff.
Under heaven everyone knows this,
Yet no one puts it into practice.
Therefore the sage says:
He who takes upon himself the
humiliation of the people is fit to rule
them. [1]
True words seem paradoxical

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[1]The Tao Te Ching, #78, Translation by Gia Fu Feng & Jane English  Vintage Books, 1989