People are eager to learn how to win but ignore how to lose. Who wants to know defeat?

And yet, losing requires more mastery than winning, as it is much more dangerous. This is the time to pay the price. 

If you are not ready to pay a price you are too weak to start taking risk in the first place. But you do not need to perish each time you fail something. You better know in advance what to do.

On the other hand, losing with grace and courage will help you out of failure, quite often.

Your character may be gilded by success but it is when you lose that people feel who you are. Defeat, not victory is when quality shows. The stumbling reveals the person. Strangely, you can win a lot while you lose. Resilience and style in adversity gains respect even while you fail. Now, be noble if you can, but certainly do not be mean, or ugliness will stick to you.

If you are strong while you lose, "If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same" [1 ] people will grow confident that there is someone inside and you will win later. 

If you do not forsake your friends, nor bite around in fear, people will know that you are trustworthy.

Have the courage to limit damage and check your pride. Let people witness how you become a better person. Learn then to say swiftly: “if this brings me down let me see what works.”

You see the difference of quality in a glance; the cheap one denies the fault, justifies it and worst of all persists in it, even for years. The strong and the skilled will acknowledge, stop the harm and start immediately what is needed to repair or do better, at least, not to do worse. Say “yes, I was wrong” or “yes, you are stronger” “I am sorry, please excuse me!” Even enemies respect this.

The weak will waste precious time to explain away the flagrant; I saw so many too defensive to concede defeat or error, too cowardly to face the consequences. They made after one error another one, even two, to cover it or to deny it, persisting, obstinate to justify, until the spiral escaped out of control. The mistake became a large error. The scratch became a wound, the wound became deadly.

Prevent the flood, just say “Stop! This does not work. This dream was mistaken. Let us do better.” Or, leave the place, now. Run! Try another life; if you cannot change things out of your power, you can always change yourself.

The art of losing is also an art of burial, of writing off what you invested from your heart. Unable to finish, end and put to rest what failed, you would carry the burden forever.  Unfinished business sticks to the mind for years and unconcluded loss is bottomless. Draw a dignified line, offer a respectful rite of passage for what was, start a new chapter.

Good losing is an art of learning. An educated loser must conclude defeat by examining what worked and what to avoid, with wisdom for the future and experience to nourish the moments when you say: “This reminds me of...” The bad loser only remembers bitterness, unfinished business and hatred.

Skill in a time of loss combines courage, humility and patience with untiring resilience in following your deeper course; like the water of Tao, temporarily evaporated into clouds, or frozen or muddied, which will lie dormant as long as needed, without struggle, but will flow it’s natural course to where it belongs, at the first occasion when the way is open.

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[1] Rudyard Kipling, If