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Bad people helped me and good people did me harm...

26/5/2013

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Picture






I pan and sieve my memories for the useful things I learned in my life. I am puzzled...

Many things I recall are quite normal and supporting of the way I supposed the world would be, good being good and bad - wrong - nothing special to learn there; but what to do about this:

Bad people helped me and good people did me harm.

Friends sold each-other in times of need while enemies joined for the sake of better causes.

Gentle people did evil things and evil ones good things.

Upright ones proved mad, as crazy ones spoke with good logic.

Respectful people were reeking prejudice, outcasts were open to truth.

Some who owed me forsook me and total strangers saved me from trouble, at their risk.

Honest people proved heartless, scoundrels with big hearts gave me with both hands.

Bright people acted like destructive fools while stupid ones were prudent and sensible.

Learned ones were obtuse know-alls and I saw the ignorant curious and improving.

Liars said the truth and honest men lied to crowds.

Kind people were stupid and silly people skillful masters of their trade.

Scrupulous believers proved hypocrites to their vows, cynical atheists died for moral justice.

Loving fathers were callous torturers, and whores, kind-hearted mothers.

Experienced people kept being dead wrong and beginners inexplicably right.

                                                                   *

What to do about all this mess? It is not poetry. It is life.

What to learn from this chaos where everything is possible and it’s contrary too - at the same time and from the same point of view? What will you do under the deluge of inconsistency? Give up? Be wise by doing what you are told? Conclude that everything goes?

What do you learn from it?

                                                                   *

What did I learn?

That things are complicated and must probably be suffered to remain so. We should not cheat ourselves or lie to other people that they are simple when they are not. 

I learned that I can keep being myself only if I make my own mind, that I must judge to my best, and that is enough... for a while.

I had to grow accustomed and unperturbed to juggle in my mind contradiction unresolved but not denied. Contradiction makes you dizzy only if you cannot make up with endless change.

I understood the saying of an Indian sage that "The enemies of today may be the friends of tomorrow and the friends of today the enemies of tomorrow." This is true in many fields.

I grew prone to agree to disagree, peacefully, as long as I am left in peace.

I learned that there is a time for doubting everything and another to be certain for a while, to judge and decide; there are also some moments to simply trust. 

I learned to trust myself “but make allowance for their doubting too.”

I learned how crippling can be persistence in one's strong honest beliefs in the face of fact and argument showing that it is the time to disbelieve.
 
I learned that in human matters, precision is far from truth but luring us into error. In such matters conscious trust is to me as useful as fact, provided I discern the difference.

I learned to make peace with the uncertainty that what I do not know and will never know is infinite; I lost the petty need to reduce that infinity to my little knowledge. This joyful, prideful humility - gives me balance and boldness in the middle of the flow.

I learned to ground my knowledge on the little I know, untroubled by the million reserves I always keep in mind.

I grew reluctant to judge people once for ever just because I must do it quickly from time to time.

I learned not to weigh people on what they were or what they are and do and have now, but on what I foresee them to become in time.

I learned to find out  or even decide who I am, what I like and what I dislike and hate, value or neglect, what I respect and what I despise in the private garden of my soul.

I learned to stick to my own compass and keep close to my own values, because I chose so, aware of changing winds and tides, accepting that “there is a time for everything.”

I learned that it is possible, necessary and advisable to see the good grain inside the bad and the bad seed inside the good fruit, like the contrary spots in yin and yang; this makes you much stronger, even when you fight against them.

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A power to make things simple

1/1/2012

1 Comment

 
PictureA tip above, a world beneath
_

Making things simple is complicated! It needs both knowing the subject and knowing how the human mind works. To show and speak plain and clear you need time and depth; like an iceberg - a quiet crystal peak above the waters, holds centuries of frozen storms underneath.
 
                                        *
You make things simple when you bring people to understand them*.

The skill to trigger understanding gives power by satisfying a deep human need; there is value in making things simple because complexity, like most things we do not understand, appears alien and threatening; we need instead simplicity which feels familiar and practical.

The one able to translate the confusing into something familiar has power among people.

                                                                     *

Why do I claim that complexity is threatening?

Much detail is foreseeable confusion. Too much analysis is paralysis. Accurate academic abstraction is an alien planet. Plenty of choice is perplexity. Multiple opinions spell conflict. Profuse words are suspect of ignorance and a will to mystify. Precise expert talk is unnatural jargon made to keep us dependent. Too many probabilities beat the mind. Erudite abundance and subtlety feel like insult to those who do not grasp them. This is the humble psychology of complexity brought to people.

Complication, like most things we do not understand, cause uncertainty, insecurity and a sense of incompetence: People, as I found, are lost in complication, hate to decide among many choices and wary to be exposed when they do not understand.

Simplicity makes one feel in control; "plain" things are seen as elegant, obvious, reality itself; plainness gives a sense of understanding and ability to act.

When you represent things in understandable form you diminish uncertainty; this grounds the power to make things simple, the magic wand of the wise; provided it is not left to populists, false prophets, salespeople and other liars gifted to use it in unscrupulous ways.

                                                                                                               *

In exchange of clarity, familiarity and simpler choices to feel secure, people are willing to delegate part of their judgement and freedom by making theirs your interpretation.

We trust those who make us understand. We seek those who reduce our doubts. We entrust them to think for us and to explain how things are, what choices we have and what we should do. There is no stronger persuasion than making one understand: the map in our mind directs what we think and what we do.

This is power indeed! And danger! When you make things simple you are responsible personally of what you do.

READ THE WHOLE ESSAY IT IS AMONG THE ARTICLES

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* There is no such thing as "making things simple in general" or "objectively". Simplicity is felt, lived, not measured or calculated; "simple" means that it makes sense here and now, commonsense for these people, for this person, from their point of view, in this context, with this purpose. Simplicity is relative to the living human mind. Universal simplicity is a machine-dream.

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